Monaco as viewed by a poor Texan..

When one is broke, and values the little money they have, then Monaco isn't the place to find oneself. Fortunately, I was given access to this life without having to break the bank; as, with my other trips, my friends helped foot some of the bill.

My arrival was via an AlItalia flight from Rome, and seeing that it was in the tail end of the summer season, the atmosphere was delightful. Everywhere you look, the richest greens line the walls of most roads that are themselves populated by those with no shortage of paper notes of the same hue. Often, I would wonder if there was going to be a credit check to ensure that I was meant to walk among these people, who all seemed to have few obvious cares. When I drove into the port, I found that the buildings were all immaculate, with no drab surfaces, or trashy streets anywhere, which I would expect from a place that can see some of the greatest movers and shakers passing through it.

Usually, for someone like myself, a place like this has a big sign over it reading "FORBIDDEN TO POOR PEOPLE!" This was evident as I looked at the various price tags, reading amounts far more than I feel I would ever be able to spend on such items. When I was walking past a Bentley dealership I heard a man say, "they're sold out of the Continental GT's today, but they'll have one for us in the morning." After hearing that, I was really distracted by the sheer amount of excess that protruded every crack of this rather baffling location. I kept asking myself, if you can go spend $200,000 on a car that uses gasoline, then why couldn't you go spend $100,000 on something that uses no gas at all, then use that extra cash to help folks. Heck, at one point, I took a picture of a row of Bentley and Rolls Royce sedans which easily cost more than an entire neighborhood in my hometown of Azle, Texas.

I walked everywhere, and found myself really out of place, yet, it was surprisingly easy to fit in here. There are no homeless people walking the streets, and if you're poor, you're far away; thus, if you are seen, you are expected to be at least well off. At one time, a couple asked me if I had the time, and I told them it, then was asked if I was there for the yacht show. I replied that I was indeed there for it, and my 75 footer was parked on the other side of the bay, which was accepted without question by the couple. I then excused myself and moved on, with the image, at least to one couple, of being a young man with deep pockets, rather than the true image of a man with pockets that held pennies (really).

While walking at night, I received an invitation to attend a party at "Jimmy-Z's" which was located right beside my hotel, the "Monte Carlo Bay Hotel and Casino." When I arrived, I was looked at as some lower individual, perhaps helped by the torn dingy knee shorts I was wearing at the time, along with a T-shirt that read "Give me $100 or you'll never see me again!" Of course, the drinks were expensive, and the cigarettes, well, they were $15 Euro a pack, which was the highest price I encountered anywhere in my travels. Thankfully, I wasn't asked to pay this, as I was there on an invitation by someone that knew the clubs owner, so the $15 turned to $0, and the drinks turned into a waterfall of liquor that only ceased when I had reached my personal limit. Later, drunk as can be, I stumbled the 700 feet back to the hotel, and had a bellhop drag me to my door, and fetch a large cup of coffee. His tip? A handshake, a big smile, and the promise that I'd get him back for the generosity.

That night of binge drinking ended my very short visit to Monaco, as I had to catch a flight the next day to the eternal city of Rome, where I was to catch a train bound for Naples, but before I left this city, I went to seek a headache medicine. When I walked into the green cross lit pharmacy, I was greeted by a pharmacist that recommended a regimen of 40 pills that each contained 50mg of codiene each. This shocked me that I had access to a pain medication for a headache, so I went ahead and purchased a double order, and some hydro morphine pills for some pain relief in Naples (epididymitis sucks...especially on vacation).

Soon I'll tell the tale of Naples from the viewpoint of the poor traveler...

When one travels through...

Athens, Greece, it's important to remember that practically everywhere you can go, you will run into history, ranging from Olympic stadiums from only a few years ago, to monuments thousands of years old. I visited this ancient city during December of 2009, and fell in love with it. It's a great destination, and a great place to say you've been to, as it's not exactly on the big tour plans around Europe, by what I've been told. I arrived here during the evening, so there wasn't alot to see and do at first, so I went out and enjoyed some of the rather vibrant nightlife, which usually can be expected to last into the morning hours. I actually found myself having breakfast with the sun on my face after leaving a club, then going back to the hotel I stayed at, the Park Hotel, and sleeping off a few hours before getting up for some serious tourist activities. Like other places in Greece, you would be hard pressed to find an entire crowd of Greek folks who don't understand you, as quite a large portion of the populace speek English.

Something that I had just missed during my visit was a series of student riots about a student murder by a police officer, so I steered clear of the hotspots for the first day, and explored the mighty Acropolis. When approaching monuments such as these, you won't find yourself among only Americans and Europeans, but every race in the world, a giant mixing bowl of tourists that don't understand the next. Asking someone to take a picture of you is rather easy though, as most people understand the "hold the camera toward you while handing it to a complete stranger" gesture. The vistas from the Acropolis are breathtaking, as you can take in most of the city of Athens by looking in any direction, but there is a better viewpoint. The highest point that I visited was Lycabettus hill, which was quite a trek up, but offered views that couldn't be had anywhere else.

Unfortunately, during my visit up Lycabettus hill, a thunderstorm rolled in, which seriously worried a friend that was with me, but it fuzzed out, and provided a light mist all the way down the hill. Another thing that I noticed, in excess, was the trash, which was pretty much everywhere in the city of Athens at that point, for the trash services were on strike. Many times I found myself walking off in a direction in the hopes that I would get lost, and have to try hard to get back to my hotel, which considering the signage, wasn't to hard of a goal.

At one point, a friend took me to an authentic Greek resturaunt that was located underground, and was by american standards, quite ancient, and unhygenic in their food storage(on a burner for hours it looked like). Apparently, in the morning, they cook the days food all at once, and store it in a few large pots for service during the day. There isn't a menu, and you're served as much as they think you'll eat. So between the three of us, we had peas, lamb with potatoes, greek rolls, greek salad, and some odd rice-like, salsa-like dish. An interesting fact was when you're given a plate here, it's not to grab portions of the whole for yourself, but just for scraps. When I began grabbing some and putting it onto my plate, they reminded me that "we're not in America", and "we don't hoard our food". It was very delightful to share the dishes together, and to top it all off, the wine was on the house, and the ticket for the three of us was barely $40.00 which was a bargain by the standards of most resturaunts here.

Towards the center of Athens, one must find the Monastiraki, which is the central market, and best possible place to find some very good Greek made items for either gifts, or souvineers. I found a few T-shirts, a couple of books, some greek mantle pieces, and some coasters, as I am never carrying enough to go on a shopping spree. Something I really found myself having trouble controlling was my need of Greek pastries, which included crepes smeared with nutella, with an ice cream topping. Also, their idea of a donut shop has no donuts, but cakes of such richness, eating more than one is likely to throw even a hardened sugar junkie into shock. Once in awhile, I had to indulge in their wonderful waffle-like oreos, and other interesting snack items. My guess is most tourists from the USA usually have more money, thus they avoid the junk food, but I was quite interested to see how the average joes live, thus I tried quite a few. The one I loved most was likely the crossaints with a vanilla creme filling, as it went wonderful with their 3.5% milk.

Most of my nights here were consumed by the love of the club scene here, with clubs that exceed your expectations as far as drink quality, and the scene in general, for they really pay their DJ's quite well here, thus you're likely to see acts from America at even the small clubs. My best advice is to steer clear of drinking here, as they do have to pay people alot, thus you pay for it either in a high cover charge, or high drink prices, sometimes a combination of both, for one drink once cost me $20 if converted from Euros. Anyways, I held that drink until the ice melted, so not to look like as if I'm not a paying customer, and if you wanted water, expect to pay alot for it, as only bottled water is drank here. That is one thing you will notice quite often, is that the Greek people consume far more water than your average American, as their tap water isn't desirable, to say the least.

Overall, this is but a brief summary of a rich 5 day experience, but this does highlight some of the bright points, so I'll continue on later if I think of more.

When one travels through...

Thessaloniki, Greece, one must remember that this isn't a gigantic tourist destination like Athens is, but they do get a fair share of visitors, thus the african and persian merchants line the shores here. It isn't hard to find some pretty amazing sunset pictures, that is if you're not afraid to walk the enormous distances along the shoreline to guarentee no oil barges or any other vessel clouds the shot. My visit to this Greecian city only lasted two days, but I did get to walk quite deep into its interior, all down the beaches, and to a couple of really nice resturaunts. I first flew to the Thessaloniki airport, which is actually quite small compared to every other airport I've been to in my life, reminding me more of a small private field rather than a hub for large carriers. My first trip into town was by cab, and it surprised me as it was a late model BMW X5, with a couple of Greek men chatting away in what I can only call complete gibberish to me. However, I enjoyed the trip around town, as I grew to understand just how close Greece is to America, in some rather ignored respects. A gas station is a gas station is a gas station, anywhere you go, there's cigarettes, beer, sweets, and salty junk food available, all in Greek of course.

A market, is a market, no matter where you go, as my first journey out of my hotel, the Makedonia palace, was to go grab a greek sweet roll, their version of oreos, some milk, and cigarettes(ugh, don't remind me). What I ended up purchasing was a creme filled crossaint, waffle like oreos, and to my disgust, buttermilk, and I only found that out after taking a deep gulp of the racid stuff(NOT A FAN OF BUTTERMILK). Thankfully, most vendors were taught English in addition to Greek when in school, so you won't find yourself completely lost all the time. Out of all my foreign adventures, this is what makes Greece so wonderful to visit, the fact you don't have to feel totally out of place like most of the destinations in Italy.

In some of my walks around town, I happened upon some rather cool little landmarks, like a late day encounter with an Alexander the Great statue, sword unsheathed, on a horse. The vistas of distance are what I was after the most, as you can walk the beach, and at times see no one for what looks like tens of miles, but of course it was just a lucky shot or two, as there are probably 300-400,000 people that inhabit this city, of course this is my uneducated guess, as I feel any census counts here are off by quite a bit.

Something to remember when shopping here, you are 5,000 miles away from home, and people here like American goods, so don't be surprised if you want a pair of Levis, and it ends up costing you 5 times the price from back in the good ol USA. I found some interesting purchases here, and a unique pair of jeans with a fatal flaw, low, deep pockets 12 inches below the normal position for jean back pockets, thus they're easy to reach into and grab. After wearing them around for a bit on my second day, a nice man that was laughing at me, told me they were "tourist" pants, and they sell them to foreigners because it's easy to steal from them, as they're so baggy.

Still, without carrying much that could be stolen, they make a great pair of walking jeans, and back home, not a soul has a pair like them.

While in Thessaloniki, I did visit a shoreline resturaunt that was probably quite expensive, but seeing as though I was with a friend, the price wasn't a big concern, but it was nonetheless shocking that I ate a salad costing $40, and an entree that was over $120. This isn't the same for all resturaunts here, as some were very reasonable, but that one spot, was ridiculous. Out of everything, what I will always remember is the incredible sunsets, the friendly people, and the fact people can drive drunk through the streets, and if they at least stay in three lanes, and not cross outside of it, there's no worry of police, as they have better things to do, like hit on the ladies, and not wasting time on reckless drivers.

When one travels through...

Hmm..I have elaborated, slightly, on my trip to Rome/Athens/Mykonos, but I really didn't give any dirt on how the places really are. Well for one, they're real places, like your restroom, as real as that, but with added amenities, such as interesting foods, sights, smells, and sounds. When it comes to how something feels, it's better to leave that to your own senses, as I cannot tell you how it "feels" to be in these places, just how it "is". Well, first off, when in Rome, remember this, almost every place selling food is going to be great, and I do stress almost. When eating Chinese food in Rome, it's best to remember that Chinese food is chinese food, and perhaps in China it might be better, however when you're in Italy, don't expect the best. That said, seeing as though you're in Italy, might as well just go have some Italian food, or some GELATO. There is no simple way of saying how superior Gelato is to the ice creams of America. It's a completely different, yet similar experience, one that is best tried rather than explained. Sure, there are places in the United States and elsewhere that say they can make a good Gelato, but very few, really, I've seen none, can seem to get it right, unless you're really in Italy. There is a place near my home, that sells "homemade" Gelato, and I'm sorry, it tastes worse than a store brand ice cream, just sickening.

Oh, while eating at an Italian resturaunt in Italy, do not be surprised if you do not find them doing everything to United States food safety standards, as they don't have a concept of that. I didn't really care, as you will look around you, and see many older italians, that have been eating there for their entire lives, thus if they can take it and keep plugging along, then it was fine for my taste buds. That said, there is times though, where you will be amazed at where the stuff comes from. Like this one resturaunt I visited not far from the Collosium, that served a great bread along with wine for an appetizer. I wondered where this great bread was made, and imagined a careful baker, taking his time to ensure it was perfectly baked. At one point, I had to use their restroom, and was pointed upstairs, and to the right. Well, before I made that right, I looked to the left, to see my waiter sifting through a big paper sack full of bread, some good, some bad, he put the good pieces into a basket, and threw the others into a waste bin. Then he took the basket downstairs where he placed it, and some wine, on someones table. Needless to say I didn't eat anymore of their bread, and only picked through my entree when it was served, half expecting to find some morsel that wasn't supposed to be there.

A few places in Rome are good at making a pizza. This is another lesson to learn! OK, you may be in Italy, but it doesn't mean you will come across the greatest pizza in the world, I'm sorry, but that honor belongs to Grimaldis pizza of New York, but that's another story for another day. Instead, I will say this, the pizza in Italy focuses on the taste of the crust, not on toppings. You will never find crusts, or breads that are so flavorful, and I mean never, anywhere. Also, when in Rome, visit the McDonalds near the Vatican, as it's probably the farthest from a traditional McDonalds you can visit, as they have so many extra offerings, and great gelato. It might be helpful to also keep this in mind, MEXICAN FOOD in Italy is a joke, as I've had better at Taco Bell. I cannot remember the name of the place, but there was one particular seafood resturaunt that had absolutely no menu. Instead, they brought you a dish, and once you had eaten most of it, they brought on the second dish, which was a different form of seafood. By the fifth dish, I was still hungry, but I couldn't stomach the calamari, thus the parade of dishes ended there, and a small part of me wishes I could've seen the sixth, seventh, and final dish. In my travels, that wasn't the only resturaunt with no menu, but that is another story for another day.

Average Joe Traveler in Rome/Mykonos...

Once in a great while, a person sets out on an adventure in life that seems to be packed with danger, and turns out to be the safest step one has made in a very long time. When I was offered the chance to travel, and see places that usually only the old or rich visit, I contemplated it for only a single moment, then jumped on it without looking back. Last year, I had such an offer, which at first was amazing, then absolutely incredible, then life changing.

***Since 1997, I had not left the confines of the United States for even a single moment, and before 1997, my only time out of it was a small cruise with my parents. Over time, I have rode a slippery slope straight down, seeing many possible outcomes of my life. I could have wound up a fat, bald truck driver, a forgettable RaceTrac store manager, an invisible apartment porter, or just another warehouse worker, but instead, I currently flip burgers at a resturaunt in the small city of North Richland Hills, Tx. When I say flip burgers, I really mean, that I flip pieces of dead cow, on a grill, for 8 hours a day, for just above minimum wage. In my past I have made a decent living, and felt like I was doing well, but have just let it slip, until I have found myself here.***

When the offer came, and I jumped on it, I was afforded the opportunity to renew my passport, and take a voyage to the ancient city of Rome, Italy, and the island of Mykonos, Greece. Mind you, I am not a rich tourist, nor an old retiree, but a below average joe whom should never be allowed in a place like Mykonos, which some people making far more than I could dream of, might never get to see. I will not say I didn't like it, but for me, it was an impossible destination, that I was given the opportunity to see, feel, and take in. However at the end, I was glad to be leaving, as I really had no business being there.

HERES SOME RULES FOR THE AVERAGE JOE TRAVELER in Rome/Mykonos::

1. If you can avoid paying for anything, go for it!

2. If you have to pay for something, get ready to say goodbye to a large chunk.

3. Food isn't cheap, unless you really like crap. Remember, you can survive on crap!

4. Everything you see has been marked up perhaps 1000%, get ready for $20.00 shorts to retail for close to $300.00 in Mykonos...and they are still sold for this price!

5. Everyone you see is much richer than you!

6. Drinks are more expensive than dinner for four at Subway!

When walking through a place like Rome, it is best to remember that the pedestrian is king of the road. Feel free to walk anywhere, except for the highway, as the drivers are bred to stop for you. Occasionally if you let the drivers pass, you get confused looks, or a nod thanking you, but I wouldn't let this be the rule all the time. Also, it's quite comical to find out the bums drink in excess, the very same beverage that costs an excessive amount in the United States all because it's "IMPORTED FROM ITALY". Often, I found myself finding expensive objects(in the US), that were dirt cheap, or just considered to be "trash" to the locals.

On the food side of things, one thing that you will find alot of in rome is....GELATO!!! I included a picture of it, as it was simply the best version of ice cream in the world. Everywhere you find a place offering their own varieties of the stuff, all made there in the store. Also, if you eat out, and they have TIRAMISU on the menu, ORDER IT! You will not be dissappointed by it's oft rich flavors that include chocolate, coffee, and cream, in the right amounts to provide ectasy. I can never find the tastes of Italy here in the United States, only cheap copies.

When you find yourself treated to trips like this, how can you look at your average life as a burger flipper the same way? How many guys flipping dead cows get the chance to take a trip like this, without any worries of expenses? Well, I was one of the few that can make this boast, and my adventures have not come to an end, more as it comes to me(remember..burger flipper...usually spells out pot smoking..which is unfortunately the truth in my case)